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Greetings, fellow cads. Can you stomach a sex-filled sojourn into that bizarre ritual known as (gulp!) marriage! Fear not, friends.
Lensed in France and starring a rainbow of garter-belted blondes, brunettes, and redheads who are hotter than a steam room, The Nibblers will have your peckers quivering like a harp string.
DAVE FRIEDMAN won this European flick from producer GASTON (Horrors of Spider Island
) HAKIM in a poker game (which explains the wonderful title). As a bonus erectus, we get crisp photography, lush locales, and twelve different sex romps!
The marriage of George (JOHN MOP) and Eva (LYDIA SHANE) is on the ropes "It’s been three weeks since we’ve made love. I feel like a leper!" she whines. (The dubbing isn’t too far from Godzilla vs. Mothra territory.) "You turn me off with your puritism," he explains
Why doesn’t George want to harpoon his wife, a butterscotch blonde who’s a cross between Princess Diana and Martha Stewart? Because he’s too busy shagging every woman that crosses his path. This guy will fuck anything that’s not nailed down. The majority of the movie concerns George’s attempts to corrupt his loving wife into sex with multiple partners. His cohort in slime is his mistress Samantha, a golden-throated fellatrix who becomes Eva’s "sex guru. "
Erotic adventures follow. Highlights include George and Eva having outdoor sex with a hooker ("Take it easy on my wife. She’s not used to this sort of thing..."), a threesome on a waterbed, and a clambake between Eva, Samantha, and a raven-haired maid.
By film’s end, Eva (like the Bride of Frankenstein) is unveiled to her husband dressed to thrill in garter belt, transparent nightie, and seamed nylons. George teabags his balls into her mouth, then she takes a bounce on his baloney.
wraps things up with an all-you-can-eat "group grope" where Eva is happily ready for some sperm yodeling
Romance?! Wake up and smell the pussy! Forget about flowers, hearts, candy, and roses. Their marriage is saved by meaningless sex with various partners! "I got my husband back by sharing his adventures’" Eva sums up.
In the immortal words of Henny Youngman: Make my wife, please!
— Mike Accomando, Dreadful Pleasures