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Dyanne Thorne, eat your heart out! Time to goose-step down to The Dragon Art Theatre for this double helping of SS Porno.
(NANCY MARTIN) is an llsa-esque, ball-draining Bitch from Hell. This horny she-wolf parades around in a bargain basement Nazi uniform and go-go boots. "The Commandant" also has an insatiable penchant for pussy. Mary Poppins she’s not. She and her sweaty, hairy, ape-like assistant, Karl, are after the rebel leader, "John Paul," so they enslave some foxy frauleins for interrogation. The captive women (and one fruity guy for "comic relief") are subjected to the demented pleasures of the Third Reich.
One victim (who really looks like ’70s B-queen Candice Rialsoni is forced to gobble Karl’s knockwurst. He threatens to use her breasts as lamp shades: "At times, Karl gets very mean." (There’s hysterical dubbed-in German babble during the blowjob.) Another pigtailed plaything is raped by our Nazi perverts as a cheery love song blares," I know how you love me..." While Karl makes her smoke his pole. The Commandant rips out her pubic hair like she’s plucking the strings of a guitar. (She loves me, she loves me not?...)
Okay. Let's add this up: Two rapes. Scrotal torture. An orgy. Dildo dipping. Pubic hair pulling. Four (count ’em!) lesbian chowdowns, and, yes, John Paul does make an appearance. What more could you ask for?
Answer: Nazi Love Island
, complete with bombs whistling down, big explosions, the buzz of aircraft strafing the ground, and JOHN HOLMES
stumbling through the flaming rubble of some Asiatic shanty town. Say what?
Yes, Mr. Pecker Monster himself is an American sailor during WWII who’s shipwrecked on a remote island in the South Pacific where he discovers a Nazi prison camp run by SEKA, Greta, and Japanese soldier gal JADE WONG. Held captive are two American nurses, Glory and Carol, who are subjected to terrible tortures — like drinking schnapps and having their good American pussies licked by the evil Seka and Greta — all in an attempt to brainwash them into saying,"I love the Fuhrer!"
But before Holmes can rescue them, he’s captured and forced to fuck Seka to Wagnerian overtures while Greta masturbates with a German Luger! "You vill be broken! You vill be punished!" shrieks Seka before clamping her lips around the Holmes wiener schnitzel. "Don’t you cum in me, you American Schwein!" she screams before the money shot.
Proving that their captors are "sick, mean, horrible people," Carol is then made to kneel before Johnny's wadd and ordered to "Zuck it!" Eventually, Miss Wong joins Holmes (at the crotch) in turning the tables on the Nazis. "Stop, you Kraut bitch, or I’ll blow your head off! "shouts John before the whole camp goes up in flames...Zimply amazink. Porno uber alles! — Mike Accomando, Dreadful Pleasures, & Don the Deviate, America Moralia