This volume of vulgarity opens with a stinky bum in a sailor’s cap and black face (!) wandering around a park. He eats out of a garbage can until a yummy brunette sitting on a bench takes pity on him and feeds him her sandwich. The vagrant pulls a soiled dollar bill out of his pocket, folds it into a ring and places it on her finger. It magically turns into a beautiful ruby ring (or a cheap piece of costume jewelry, take your pick).
The Magical Ring
turns her into an insatiable nymphomaniac. "If I don’t get laid, I’ll just die!" she pants. She dresses up in slutty lingerie and pulls out a sizable rubber schlong. Inserting it into her hairy hole, she gives herself a sheet-clutching orgasm. "I wish it were a real prick." she moans, and - Eureka !
A naked stud appears out of thin air, hung like an elk. He sucks her toes. She sucks something of his a little more personal.
The ring brings all of her horny wishes to life. She samples women and a few more boneslingers. There’s also a dominitrix segment involving some whippage. After a hop, skip and a hump, she says, "I want more people!" This leads to a sizzling orgy and more toe sucking.
Happy ending? Nope. In a last minute twist they strangle her with the whip! The ring falls off her cold dead body and another girl puts it on. Confused? Me too. Horny? Me too.
Psychedelic Sex Freak
is another slobbering obscurity that could only have been made in the sick, sick seventies. Eddie is a love-starved degenerate. He’s girl crazy (no girl will even look at him, that’s why he’s crazy!) Alas, Cupid has shot him in the ass. Eddie is obsessed with Nora, a mouth-watering doe-eyed little cupcake. She works in her uncle’s motel, cleaning rooms. He asks her out but she’d rather date a farm animal than Eddie.
Eddie spends his time reading MEN
magazine and having psychedelic wet dreams involving speeded-up naked strippers. He fantasizes about women he passes on the street. ("Lick my lollipop." he commands. "You’re the greatest, Eddie.")
Things change when he buys a book on hypnotism. "Power over women, alright!" he drools. A narrator helpfully informs us about the power of suggestion, adding, "Hypnotism does not require eyes of any particular type."
Poor little Nora is his first stop. He mumbles some words, does a bit of hocus-pocus and Presto! - she is soon transformed into his own personal dick ornament. Like Gumby, he bends her juicy body into a variety of lewd positions. He programs her. Every time she hears him say, "Nora, I want you", she goes into a trance and is forced to satisfy Eddie’s ugly needs. While he’s tickling her tonsils he says, happily, "This is the way I want it. I can’t cope with other women. They’re always talking." (!)
Nora has mind-bending sadomasochistic dreams where she’s chained up and penetrated doggie style (woof !
). Meanwhile, Eddie’s libido is out of control. Nora isn’t enough for this filthy bastard. He hypnotizes her girlfriend and they all flop into the sack for a threesome. "Serve your master" he says. I don’t know what’s stiffer, the acting or Eddie’s gigantic bone. It ends with the implication that Eddie is going to continue to get more ass than a toilet seat. Quality Filth.
- -Mike Accomando, Dreadful Pleasures