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Hereís another one-two knockout punch of perversion thatís so inept they make Andy Milligan look like Fellini. Sharon and Carol are two giggling, well-nippled secretaries on vacation. When their money runs out, Sharon (who has eyelashes you could paint a house with) devises a plan: "Letís start charging!".
Our Amateur Hookers
bop down to the hotel cocktail lounge and pick up "Charlie and Bob", two groovy hipsters looking for booty. Bob and Carol (I think thatís her name, it changes from scene to scene!) flop into bed for some X-plicit slurping and slamming. Charlie is kinkier than his pal. He requests a threesome with both of our little bed bunnies.
Later on, the girls have to deal with an oily, blackmailing hotel detective who wants the cash and the gash. They turn the tables on him in a way that can only be called poetic justice. This quickie defines the term low-budget (the filmís opening title is painted across a pair of tits). The girls manage to stay gosh darn cute, even while being eaten, boned and spewed upon.
Okay class, open your schoolbooks. Todayís lesson? Reading, writing and reaming. The girlís in Miss Penbrookís Finishing School
are learning more than their A-B-Cís.
Satisfying your husband is "the most important lesson of being a wife." She demonstrates how with Mr. Johnson, a donkey-dicked idiot with plastic-looking hair. Miss Penbrook takes his huge joystick and stuffs it down her esophagus like itís a cocktail frank. (Sexual education was never like this in my high school!)
While Mr. J is jamming his salami up her crease she says matter-of-factly, "It will be his preference to blast inside your cunt or in, on occasion, your mouth. You must oblige him because itís your duty." Kee-rist! Feminists should be loading their guns and sharpening their knives right about now.
The message taught at this school is: Hey girls! Just lay back and grab your ankles! Finishing School
is offensive and vile. I loved every minute of it. -- Mike Accomando, Dreadful Pleasures