Quick! Who popped her top in more sexploitation films of the '70s than any other actress? Buzzzz. Times up. If you answered RENE BOND
, you win the sofa and the dinette set. With over 100 films to her credit, this cute, chipmunk-faced actress could always be counted on to liven up the most stilted dreck. She possessed a girl-next-door-goes-bad sensual appeal. Bond could do the filthiest shit on camera and still come off as sweet.
Fans of hers know that her hardcore films are extremely hard to locate. Kim Comes Home
is a real obscurity. Bond (billed as Annie Hall) stars as Kim, an art student who returns to her hometown. She crashes at her friend Barbara’s pad. During a heart-to-heart chat, Babs tells her that she is a hooker. ("I’ve studied just about every great whore in history!") Kim is shocked.
We see Barbara in action servicing a geek named Charlie. Charlie’s wife doesn’t understand him. ("I’m a sensitive man. Plumbers have feelings too," he sobs.) Babs gobbles his choad, then gives him a nasty testicle hickey. Kim hears them ("Oh, mommy!") and peeks into a hole in the wall. She wants to look away but can’t. Soon her panties are swimming. Her fingers dip down into the wetness. She gives herself an intense orgasm, yelping like a stray dog.
Things heat up fast. Barbara and her boyfriend go to a "Freudian therapy lecture" (!) It makes them hot so they head for Bill’s dorm room. His roommate Gary (who looks 35) is studying. ("This fucking literature!") During their bumping and humping, Gary finds it hard to concentrate. So he jumps in and they show him a better way of "cramming". Back at the house, Kim is alone until Beth comes over with her husband (a long-haired galoot who I think I spotted on America’s Most Wanted). They offer her money for some naked acrobatics. ("Fifty bucks? Wow!") Kim sheds her inhibitions and slides her tongue up and down his whanger. (During the rod-riding, Bond is so turned on she looks like she’s having a heart attack).
Somewhere in this movie, there’s a plot. But I couldn’t find it. Doesn’t matter. Fans of Rene Bond will be groaning their approval.