Who produced this, the National Penis Association? Two beefy const ruction workers get into an argument over who can bust more booty. The two cretins, Frank and Tom, decide to have a contest to see who can drain the vain with more women. ("Our wives wouldn’t go for this.") Where do they hold the contest? Where else? A 42nd Street whorehouse.
The rule is whoever leaves the room first loses. Frank indulges in some grotty action with a hot, raven-haired doll who polished his knob. As with most Cosmos productions, the sex scenes all follow the same format. Both parties take turns rubbing their faces and tongues around each other’s hairy crotches. Then the women get mauled by the guys as they simulate intercourse.
Tom screws two carnal cuties then announces he’s getting winded. Frank is not as gung-ho about ho’s as he figured he’d be. He bones a sex siren but has trouble rising to the occasion. (The constipated expression on his face is a riot.) He tries to bribe a hooker into saying they did it several times. "That would be unfair," she exclaims. (Wow, a hooker with morals!)
The flick ends with both idiots bumping into each other as they try to sneak out. The Contest is perfect unwholesome entertainment for those who don’t require much in the way of storyline and instead opt for endless stroke footage. From the original 16mm too-pooped-to-pop negative. --Mike Accomando, Dreadful Pleasures
Tess BrittOther cast:
Alan Yale, Kate Smith