This strange Italian import seems designed to cash in on the then-hot Midnight Cowboy, but ends up becoming something entirely different. Which is lucky for us because if Blondes in Black Leather made any sense, it would probably still be languishing at the bottom of a film vault somewhere instead of being sold by Something Weird Video.
Marco is a young, totally self-absorbed gigolo. Broke and living with his parents in a tiny villa ("This isnít America," Mom reminds him in a strong dubbed American accent), Marco tells a friend heís "got a large thirst, a pocket full of air, and an old bag watching me like a hawk."
Despite the fact that heís a complete asshole, Marco doesnít seem to have any trouble attracting the opposite sex. One young woman gives him a wad of cash, then tries to induce him to stay by removing her top, to which the well-mannered Marco replies, "Thatís a nice pair, but Iím too busy now." He then heads over to visit his friend Raoul and watch 8mm home-movie footage of Marcoís trip to New York. (We see him tour Times Square which includes a none-too-subtle shot of him emerging from a grindhouse playing Midnight Cowboy.)
Itís also in the home-movie footage that we first see Barbara, a rich New Yorker whom Marco plans to marry and milk dry: "Americaís full of rich, kinky chicks!" After he unsuccessfully tries to fence a stolen painting to an artist who creates sculptures on his own island (a very bizarre sequence), Marco heads for the airport to greet the visiting Barbara. Along the way, he fondles a hitchhiker he picks up, and encounters a mysterious female tour guide he becomes obsessed with.
Finally, he meets up with Barbara, following which are a number of lovemaking scenes with the blonde American (who is actually one of the most European-looking members of the cast). Realizing heís going to need more cash to keep impressing his bride-to-be, Marco makes a deal to sell cocaine to low-lives Danny and Lazlo, but decides to keep the scratch for himself. He also wins money on a rigged TV quiz show, and finally has sex with that attractive tour guide.
From this point on, however, things rapidly go downhill for our hero. Barbara leaves when she discovers heís been stealing money from her purse, and the tour guide turns out to be more than a pretty face. Worse, Danny and Lazlo come looking for their missing loot and, after a surreal chase along the Venetian stone walls overlooking the ocean, Marco is caught and taught a severe lesson...
"You reap what you sow" is obviously one proverb Marco never heard of.
From a 35mm Eurosleaze-to-please print. -- John Harrison